HELP IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING

Suggestions and resources to help if you are feeling concerned about your own mental health.

1. WHAT DO WE MEAN BY ‘GOOD MENTAL HEALTH’?

If you have ‘good mental health’ you are generally able to:

Deal appropriately with a range of emotions, including ones that are difficult or distressing.
Bounce back – have enough resilience to deal with adversity.
Be content in life.

It doesn’t mean you never feel down, worried, sad, angry, scared etc (these are normal human emotions). It means that you are able to see them in perspective and manage the feelings, possibly over time, without becoming overwhelmed by them.

It is also important to remember that external events or difficulties can have a major impact on our mental health and ability to cope.

2. RECOGNISING THE SIGNS OF STARTING TO STRUGGLE IN YOURSELF

Our mental health, like our physical health, can be on a continuum. Sometimes it is hard to identify when we are actually starting to struggle or when we are just going through a temporarily tough time which will soon pass or when it is hard for us to separate things out and get them into perspective.

WARNING SIGNS MIGHT BE:

Our ‘low mood’ or sadness starts to become enduring and long-lasting, and it becomes hard to identify a specific cause.
Our worry starts to spread into a more generalised feeling of anxiety that is hard to rationalise.
Moodiness, eg. irritability, aggression, ‘short fuse’, tearfulness or being withdrawn, loss of sense of humour.
Not getting things done – missing deadlines or forgetting tasks.
Not enjoying, or having less time for, hobbies, events or relationships we previously valued.
Finding it hard to make decisions.
Loss of confidence/self-doubt.
Taking on too much work and volunteering for every new project.
Tiredness/sleep problems.
Physical symptoms – our bodies often know before we do that all is not well with us psychologically, so we might experience: headaches, migraines or muscle tension, skin complaints (eg. eczema, psoriasis, urticaria), digestive disorders or Irritable Bowel Syndrome, heart palpitations, chest pains, blurred vision and so on. It is always worth checking these out with a healthcare practitioner rather than assuming they are stress-related, so that you can get the right diagnosis and treatment.
Lack of care over appearance or personal hygiene.
Being run down, tired and prone to pick up infections or viruses more easily.
Self-medicating with alcohol, drugs (prescription or illegal), smoking, gambling etc.
Over-eating or loss of appetite.
Self-harming or thoughts about self-harm or suicide.

If you have struggled with your mental health in the past you might recognise when you are starting to struggle again, although sometimes it can be hard to spot the warning signs. If this is your first time, it is important to be aware when things don’t feel right and take steps to address them sooner rather than later. All too often people either are not aware or prefer to ignore the warning signs, hoping they will go away. Sometimes this is the case but often things will get worse and you will find yourself continuing to struggle possibly even until you hit a crisis point.

Very often, struggling with stress or our mental health can be in response to external events or psycho-social issues, for example financial pressure or debt, juggling caring responsibilities with work, work-related stress, physical illness, fertility issues or menopause, a major change such as a new baby, moving house or loss such as a bereavement or relationship breakdown. It is worth thinking about how these factors can also be addressed or what support you can get, which may well be practical as well as emotional.

It’s important to remember that you may not always be able to identify a single specific cause for the way you feel. This doesn’t invalidate what you’re feeling. And nor do you need to compare yourself with other people who seem to be coping OK in similar, or worse, circumstances. Firstly, we are all different and secondly, it is often very hard to know how other people are really feeling. Be kind to yourself. It is very common to feel bad about feeling bad but try not to let this stop you getting the help you need.

SELF-HELP – SOME SIMPLE STEPS AND TECHNIQUES

Basic self-care (good diet, keeping up with activities we enjoy, keeping connected with friends and family, staying physically active, yoga, breathing and meditation etc) is a good first step as we often neglect to do this when we are struggling. (See Wellbeing at work for more suggestions.) Often people prefer to use self-help strategies as a first step in managing. These could be about general mental wellbeing or focussed on a specific issue or condition.

3. HOW TO ASK FOR HELP

Think about the kind of help you need

You may find it beneficial to talk this through with someone first. It may be that the help you need comes from more than one place, eg. if you are in financial difficulty you might need help in managing the anxiety or feelings of panic or shame this evokes as well as some practical advice or guidance.

Check your organisation’s policies around stress, mental health, menopause etc.

This might support you to raise the issue and see what help is available.

Identify the best person to offer this help

For example, if it is work-related your line manager might be the best person. Sometimes people are more comfortable talking to complete strangers in the first instance, eg. Samaritans, CALM or LawCare. This can be done over the telephone or using online chat.

Find someone to listen

Often, when you are really struggling, it is hard to know what you want or even be able to put into words what you are feeling. In this case, having someone to just listen and help you bear your distress can be very helpful. This could be a friend, colleague, mental health champion or first aider or, ideally, a counsellor.

Write down how you’re feeling

It may help you to write down a few notes first about how you’re feeling, as a starting point for the conversation.

4. WHERE TO GET HELP

There are many places or people you might want to approach. Remember it is a good idea to seek help sooner rather than later.

If it is work-related or impacting on your work, approach your manager or supervisor.
If you do not feel comfortable with that, talk to someone in HR, or a mental health first aider or champion in your organisation.
If your company has an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) you can usually get help there, including up to a certain number of hours of free counselling.
If you are particularly concerned, especially if you have physical symptoms or feel you might be experiencing depression, anxiety or displaying symptoms of psychosis or schizophrenia you should seek help from your GP or local IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) service where you can usually self-refer.
See More Information for other suggestions of where to get help. Agencies such as LawCare will also provide information and a listening ear.
Private Counselling or Psychotherapy. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)¹ have useful information on how to find a counsellor or therapist and directory of practitioners.

5. DEALING WITH EXTERNAL PRESSURES

Very often our stress or mental health difficulties are caused by psycho-social issues such as debt, housing, financial difficulties, relationship or bereavement. It is worth finding the relevant services to help with this. If your company has an EAP (Employee Assistance Programme), they might be able to point you in the right direction. Often an effective practical solution is just what is needed.

6. WHAT TO DO IN A CRISIS

A crisis is when you need help right now.

If this occurs while you are at work, tell someone you trust, eg. your manager, a trusted colleague, a mental health first aider (or champion). They will help put in place the next steps to keep you safe and get you the help you need.
Phone 111 or ask someone else to do this for you, if you don’t feel that you are able.
If you think you are at serious risk, eg. if you are feeling actively suicidal, you can call the emergency services (999) or go to A & E.
If you are already being supported by mental health services, contact or ask someone else to contact your mental health key worker or service.

NB It is very common that if you, yourself, are in a crisis you won’t be the best person to recognise this or get yourself the help you need. It is vital that you let someone know how you are feeling so that they can put in place the help you need and accept help when it is offered.