As part of our series of Menopause Stories, Jane has produced a series of blog entries on her menopause journey. This is the final set of entries, on the experience after starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
Dear Ω
I’ve been taking the gel for a couple of weeks now and I would say that my mood has improved. I’m definitely crying less. I’m not sure that it’s a huge difference but there is an improvement. To be honest, a reduction of the spontaneous crying is a good start.
Funny story though from the very first day I used the gel. You’re supposed to put it on the backs of your upper arms, or on your inner thigh. I guess the skin is kind of smooth and thinner and it can be absorbed quickly, plus it’s mostly out of the way from being touched. So, back to the funny story. That first day I put it on in the evening on the backs of my arms and got into bed. But I forgot what the dog is like. She’s odd. She likes licking moisturiser, hand-cream, deodorant, all the things that I’m sure taste vile to us. That first day she was licking the moisturiser from my hands, and then started licking up my arm and getting a little bit close. I thought she was gonna lick the flipping oestrogen gel off my arm. I moved so quick that I almost punched the husband and kicked the dog all in one go. And, wow – can you imagine the dog if she’d licked off the oestrogen gel? Bless her, she wouldn’t know what had hit her. After that debacle, I’ve learnt from here on it’s going to be a legs gel.
Me
Dear Ω
Another few weeks in and you know what, there’s a definite improvement. The doctor seems pretty happy. Plus the baseline ultrasound didn’t show any new fibroids, however it did show that the Mirena coil is out of place so I’m gonna have to have more surgery for that. But I wouldn’t have known if we hadn’t done the baseline ultrasound because of the HRT. So, I guess you could look at the bright side of menopause as having found that so it can be sorted.
Anyway, I think the hormones are helping. I can’t say that I have had any more night sweats or hot flushes. The moods are still a bit all over the place, but much less so. It’s getting there. There’s not been any negative side effects that I’ve noticed. I know it doesn’t always suit everybody. I am incredibly grateful for that.
I guess we’ll see when we get to the end of the kind of the three months that the Dr said it might take, as to whether I can feel completely back to normal (my normal at least).
Me
Dear Ω
Just over three months into the HRT and I think I can say that this has been an unmitigated success. We fixed the coil issue. That surgery went well, so I’m pleased with that. The mood swings have gone from their extreme level to what feels like a more normal level of up and down for me. Not perfect, but I’m not sure I should expect to be better than before.
I think the HRT has worked and I am now confident this really is perimenopause.
Me
Dear Ω
New learning. While HRT works, it turns out that you might have to keep adjusting the dose. I’ve had a bit of a downturn in mood and got extremely anxious and upset about stuff again, stuff that doesn’t matter. But while talking about all of the current mood issues with my therapist, she just said, I’m going to ask you a personal question. Do you think you may need to adjust your HRT dose? Have you spoken to your doctor recently?
Even after everything I’ve already been through on this, I hadn’t noticed the similarities as this had crept back in. I guess it’s a really good reason why it’s helpful to have people to talk to about mental health, because they can help you notice. They can help you notice what’s not quite right and what’s getting worse and just ask the question of “Is that ok? Or is it the hormones?”
I’ve spoken to the doctors again and they said yes, it perhaps was needing adjusting. We’re trying adjusting it by taking a bit extra of the oestrogen gel and we’ll see how that goes.
Me
Dear Ω
It turns out the therapist was right. The increased dose of HRT improved things no end.
I don’t think it was just the fact that I talked about some issues and got it all out. I think genuinely, the mood feels more stable again over the days and weeks after changing the dose of HRT.
I’m stable again. I guess what I’m learning is I can’t just expect it to be the same all the time. I have to keep on top of it. And I have to keep reminding myself that perimenopause is a process and what I need to get through it is going to keep changing.
The dose of HRT might keep changing and what I need to do to recognise it keeps changing. Where I need to get my support from keeps changing.
Even though things are changing, I’m starting to feel much more comfortable with how things are. I guess, it shows accepting change isn’t a bad thing – even if it’s stressful and painful and a little scary. The change just needs to be supported, in the right way. Glad I’ve got there, at least for now!
Me