Page published on 18th December 2024
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In this guest blog, Val McCartney, co-founder of Jonathan’s Voice, reminds us that as the festive season approaches, it’s important to remember that not everyone feels the joy and excitement that Christmas can bring.
A White Christmas? Or a Blue Christmas? Since early autumn the shops have been full of all things Christmas, adverts that promote what a wonderful family time it will be, the preparations for carol services, Christmas concerts and the school nativity play. This can be very exciting if Christmas is something you really look forward to and for many people that is the case.
However, there are those who can feel quite sad about the approaching festival. They may have suffered the sadness of bereavement or separation and this is a particular time when they miss their loved one, their children will be spending the day with the “other parent” or it may be that there is no one for them to spend the day with. I recently heard of an older lady who told the doctor she didn’t mind being in hospital over Christmas as there was only her daughter and herself and her daughter had recently died. She would spend the day on her own.
If you don’t anticipate Christmas with joy, it may be of some comfort to know that you are not alone and that even at Christmas “It’s OK not to be OK.” People deal with their sadness in different ways. A person who himself felt isolated at Christmas organised and advertised a hike in the Peak District on Christmas Day. The first year one person came, last year it was over 100. Hiking in the Peak District may not be for you but a walk where you have some quiet time to yourself may be. There are a number of helpful suggestions about looking after yourself at Christmas on the Mind website and on the Samaritans website.
If you have friends, colleagues or neighbours whom you think might be feeling sad, one of the helpful things to do might be not to send them a card wishing them a very Merry Christmas or sharing all the details of your wonderful family gathering. Just acknowledging someone’s sadness or loss can be very helpful. Thoughtfulness, kindness and compassion can’t take away the pain, but they may ease it.
Val McCartney
Co-founder, Jonathan’s Voice
19th-12-2024
Thank you for this very helpful reminder that the Christmas we see on TV and in the shops is not the only kind of Christmas and that it is ok to be different and do it differently. Sending love and kindness to anyone who will find this season difficult, whatever the reason.
Liz Burley