On 8 September 2025, IP Inclusive and Jonathan’s Voice co-hosted a webinar in recognition of World Suicide Prevention Day, with this year’s theme being ‘Changing the Narrative – start the conversation’. The speakers were:
- Gemma Fieldsend, a highly respected trainer and consultant specialising in workplace wellbeing and mental health education, and
- Dr Susie Bennett, a researcher at the ‘Suicidal Behaviour Research Lab’ at the University of Glasgow. Her work focuses on exploring and understanding suicide risk and recovery factors in men.
The webinar helped us understand why people experiencing suicidal distress often stay silent, what distress can look like and how we can support others.
Click here to access a recording of the webinar or to download Gemma’s slides. Read on for our summary of the highlights.
Why do people suffer in silence?
Gemma began the talk by explaining that many people who struggle with suicidal thoughts do not disclose them. Recent research estimated that around half of those with suicidal ideation or behaviour do not tell anyone. This silence isn’t just about not wanting help. It often reflects how safe people feel in their different relationships environments, which in turn can be influenced by our own histories as well as fear of judgment and social stigma.
Attachment theory suggests that the way we form bonds early in life influences how we seek help later. For example, a child who experiences rejection or criticism learns that it can be safer to stay silent rather than seek support, and can carry this pattern through to adulthood. So, sadly, often it is the case that the very people who most need connection may have learned not to ask for it, based on their past experiences of not being heard.
Additionally, stigma remains around suicide and mental health, which can make seeking support feel risky. For example, people may fear damaging their professional reputation or personal relationships; or they may feel shame, particularly in view of cultural or religious taboos. This can leave people suffering in silence to avoid judgment, but at the same time increasing their isolation and despair.
Openly discussing mental health and suicide can reduce fear of disclosure and reduce stigma.
What is suicidal distress?
An aspect of Susie’s work is trying to establish general principles and tools for understanding suicidal distress, whilst also honouring the individual complexity of suicidal pain. She explained how there are many contributing factors and dimensions to suicidal distress, including biological, psychological, clinical, upbringing, relationships, life stressors, cultural attitudes, social political factors and economic conditions. In addition there is the huge diversity in male behaviour.
Susie described how psychological pain is a driver of suicide. This is an umbrella term for unpleasant emotions such as anger, fear, anxiousness, distress, hurt, worthlessness, etc.
She presented a metaphor of how we experience psychological pain through a ‘psychological pain tank’. We can imagine that exposure to psychological pain fills up our tank. By regulating or managing the pain (in healthy or unhealthy ways), we can ‘dissolve’ the pain, or empty the tank. However, there’s a threshold of pain within the tank, where for that individual the pain feels too much to bear, which leads to a suicidal crisis.
Imagining this tank, we can think about:
- How much pain has someone experienced?
- What tools does a person have to regulate their pain?
- When does the pain inside become too much to bear?
It’s important to remember that suicidal crises are time limited and that these feelings don’t last forever. This allows us to distinguish a baseline risk, which can be managed over the long term, and an active suicidal risk, which needs managing in the short term until the risk has passed.
What can suicidal distress look like?
Gemma explained how noticing changes in the individual is important. For example, perhaps you notice someone withdrawing from colleagues or meetings, or having increased sensitivity to feedback. Other signs may include fatigue, agitation, irritability, lack of motivation, distress, or repeated mentions of feeling overwhelmed, hopeless or burned out. Also there may be missed deadlines, increased absenteeism, or presenteeism (turning up but disengaged).
It’s important to remember that not everyone will notice the same signs, as people have different relationships with an individual, eg colleague, manager, friend, relative. Moreover, sometimes it’s those with a more informal relationship that notice changes or that an individual feels safe to talk to. It can also be someone that they don’t know so well, as this creates a kind of a buffer, or distance, from what matters most to them.
Recognising distress early matters because it creates opportunities for timely compassionate interventions.
What to do if you notice or suspect distress
Remember, you don’t need to diagnose or fix – you just need to notice the changes, trust your instincts and reach out, listen or signpost. That moment of connection may be the one that makes the difference. This could be proactively checking in with someone, rather than assuming that silence means they’re ok.
Also remember that the individual may be feeling intense shame or guilt, or feel like they’re failing or undeserving, which can create an isolating cycle leading to increasing feelings of distress. Therefore, what’s important is to try to break that cycle by breaking the silence – a simple conversation where someone feels heard and not judged can save a life.
Gemma talked about the ARC of Support:
A – Breaking the silence: encouraging open and honest conversations about mental health.
R – Reducing stigma: helping people to feel safe to ask for help.
C – Creating hope: reminding others that they are not alone, and that help is available.
Acting with compassion and empathy
Gemma explained that compassion is the authentic desire to help, moving us from awareness to action. We can support someone by being curious (eg. noticing changes or unusual behaviour) and present (eg by listening actively and being engaged). Empathy is also important as this is about dialling down our own thoughts, feelings and judgements, and stepping into the other person’s shoes.
We can also act by connecting someone to right support. This can involve asking what might help, rather than assuming what they need. It’s also helpful to know what support is available both internally and externally (eg. HR, wellbeing services, peer networks, GP, helplines and so on). Gemma particularly recommended Hub of Hope, the UK’s largest and most comprehensive directory of community mental health services, so you can find help when you need it, wherever you are.
Remembering to follow up and check back in shows genuine care and keeps the door open.
Building psychologically safe workplaces
Gemma gave 3 tips to help promote a safe workplace, where people are more likely to talk about distress before it reaches crisis:
- Normalise: Make wellbeing part of everyday conversations
- Model: Show your own vulnerability and lead with openness
- Support: create simple, consistent practices that make it safe to speak up.
Supporting yourself
Finally, it was acknowledged that supporting others can impact you. You can take care of yourself by noticing your own responses and debriefing with someone you trust. You can also support yourself by maintaining healthy boundaries and practising self-compassion and self-care strategies.
Reflection
What one small action can you take today to care for yourself or support others?
Please get in touch
Jonathan’s Voice would be delighted to hear from you if you’d like to discuss your own organisation’s needs in more detail. They can provide free advice, seminars, workshops, talks and other forms of support and are happy to visit you in person: contact them via their website or email [email protected].
You can contact IP Inclusive by email at [email protected].